My predictions for Wrestlemania 33

So, to be completely honest, my guilty pleasure is watching pro wrestling – not even kidding. I’d consider myself a smark, but i’m not too involved with the indies, NJWP, RoH (not sure if they still count as indies, since they pretty well known by now) and so on. I started following WWE a year ago i think? So i didn’t know who AJ Styles was when he was one of the surprise entries of last years’ Royal Rumble. As this is Wrestlemania Weekend i’m at least half-pumped for sunday (As well as NXT TakeOver on saturday – SAnitY all the way!). I’m going to make some assumptions that i think will happen on Wrestlemania and tell you which matches i look forward to the most. I’ll be using the official match card from Wikipedia.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale (Pre-Show)
Phew, after the critical push Corbin received after winning it last year (deservedly, i love this guy to death, his moveset is one of the best heel-movesets in WWE right now [along with the Usos]) – looking at the participants of the Battle Royale it’s quite obvious who’s up for winning it and who’s not. The Usos, Heath Slater/Rhyno and all the other tag teams are pretty much out of the winning game. The obvious choice would be Braun Strowman, but i think he was booked too fucking strong since the brand split, Big Show is too old to receive this push, but he arrived at the mid-card in the last months (but i have no idea why.) – So i HOPE, i just HOPE that Sami Zayn finally gets the push he deserves since his uprising from NXT.

Neville vs. Austin Aries (Pre-Show)
I never thought i’d be, but i’m really looking forward for the 205 Live match, Neville really made something out of the Cruiserweight Division and even though i didn’t know Austin Aries before, the buildup for this match – despite being short – was powerful. Austin started playing in the TV-Game just some time ago (or did I miss something?) – so i don’t think he’ll win this time. So i predict that Neville will stay champion.

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton
First thought: What? Is this the official running order? The match for the WWE Championship is the first match of the night (excluding the Pre Show)? Are you fucking kidding me? Well nevermind. The buildup for this was something between freakingly awesome (The Harper/Orton angle was really good) and clichee (The house burning and the whole “i’m stronger than ever” sucked imo, felt too forced) – i still don’t get why Bray had to struggle against Harper after receiving “the powers of Abigail” – he could’ve been booked way creepier and stronger. Orton looks good – and since this is Wrestlemania and somehow the creatives of WWE don’t want to see Wyatt as a champion for too long i’m going to say that Randy Orton will win (and i don’t like that), maybe even with the help of Harper – and Bray will turn face as an outcome. Even though he’s been over with the fans as a heel. If they want to make Bray as strong as he should be, he’ll remain champion, but some thing only work in my head i suppose.

Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman)
I have no words for this shit – they will both disappear shorty after WM. I don’t get why two part-timers would’ve the chance to go to the biggest stage of them all, with Goldberg having a couple of squash-matches since his return. This match will either be another 10-second win for Goldberg (this time the time slot is pretty good since this could turn out as a real match in the end!) or Brock will finally have his “revenge”. But this match is most likely the least important this night, the winner will eventually lose it the next night and never turn up again. Making Kevin Owens a two-time champion as an outcome, and i’m done – but this match will be a sleeper and i couldn’t care less about the shitty builtup and two part-timers battling for the “most important title in WWE”. Brock will win – otherwise his win against the Undertaker at WM30 would be even more freaking meaningless.

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns
Sigh. Some things never change, and WWE will never stop shoving old stars in our throats at WM. Not that i don’t like the Undertaker (or Goldberg, Brock, Triple H or Shane) – but this match will be used to make Roman “look strong” – hurrdurr. They should let the Undertaker win, just to make the fans happy. At least this one time.

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
Oh yes! I’m looking forward to THIS. Seth is one of the best out there (in my opinion) and the story they told was pretty good (at least Seths side) – Haitch and Steph were just the usual pseudo dark force (“You right, Triple H is scared – he’s scared that his dark side will burst out again.”). But Seths appearance at NXT TakeOver was awesome, they did some good things. I really want Seth to win this – and depending on the fitness level Hunter is at this match could be something awesome (I mean, Seths been using the Pedigree ever since and said that he’ll use it until he hits Hunter with it. Which means we could see a new finisher?)

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles
I have no idea why they did this, why Shane is at another WM – and then having a match with the best WWE has right now. Why isn’t AJ in the title picture? Why oh why? Well, he deserves to be at WrestleMania – but i don’t think this match is good for AJs standing, he will win this, obviously – but he should be given another shot at a title – and please, PLEASE no face turn for AJ. Smackdown works so good with the face GMs. And AJ is a great heel.

Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
This match will a) be full of missed or botched spots (Hey, it’s Charlotte and Sasha) and some “let’s do the big girl first” – It will last a good 15 minutes, while at least 7 of them Nia will either be attacked by the other three – or will dominate everything. She will win in the end, because of how strong she was booked the last months.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens
Thank god this friendship thing is done, i think i was the only one who didn’t like it too much. For most of the matches i think the one I want to win will win, but here Chris Jericho is going to win – the most interesting thing is: What will happen to Owens after WM?

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse
Holy Shit, this feud is pure gold from Miz’s and Maryses part, the Total Bellas Bullshit stuff was ridiculously funny, i still rewatch them regularly. Apart from Nikki sometimes talking everything about this is perfect. Yes, Cena will win and then propose to Nikki, i think we’re all on the same page here. I just want this match to be good and as intense as the feud was all together. This could turn out to be one of the better matches that night.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin
Here we go, i’m a huge Big Breakfast Baron Corbin mark, apart from his mic-work (even the pre-recorded stuff is not the best, sadly) he’s perfect in-ring. His signature and finisher are the best moves and fit so perfectly to his character, he deserved the push after working Kalisto for way too long. Ambrose being a bit a stall recently makes me wonder if there’s really a chance for Corbin to win this match. At least i hope so, but i’m happy as long Dean receives an End of Days.

Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
Meh. Enzo and Cass have been underwhelming after receiving such a huge pop for their debut, they’ve been strong, they’ve been dull, their matches are so predictable (Cass starting, tagging Enzo in, Enzo getting shit on, Enzo jumping for the hot hat, Cass doing some cleaning and then Enzo finishing the match with their finisher.) – they’re so out of this. Gallows and Anderson have been awesome after their funny-guys-gimmick and Cesaro and Sheamus had a good run lately (also loving their fluent friendship going from “i hate you” to “i love you” and back in a split second, they’re really fun to watch right now, especially because they’re good performers as well.) – so i’m going with Cesaro and Sheamus here.

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella (with James Ellsworth) vs. Naomi
Becky. It has to be Becky. Everyone loves Becky, i love Becky. Becky should win. Let’s go Becky.