that was gothenburg

and the weekend after – hardcore stuff, guys!

talking about back-ache, random plane stories, awesome views, an evening or not in the white lion, some movie watching and chilling, some clothes washing and in the end i’m still not a single bit wiser ;)

still i’ve quite learned how to cope with it, the next few weeks will be full of stuff so the time until june will pass by in a second. it’s already mid april and my counter just passed 50 days. just one thing that i thought about is how bad it is that there are people that try to take so much credit for their looks that they’ll never see the beauty that lies inside of them. but gladly that’s not my problem.

btw. – be fast, at least two are already gone! :)

first night out – welcome to sweden!

so, this was my first night out in sweden without wireless on my mobile. felt weird, because i always found myself looking on it to see if someone wrote… especially, you.

so, today i got up at 4am, which is an ungodly time! after some hours of walking and standing and waiting and flying and dying we finally landed in gothenburg at like 1230pm. then some listening to people talking about stuff, some talking about stuff, some resignation, some hints that the stuff i’m about to do would be fine for a dissertation (like the thing that you write if you want a phd… fuck me, right?)

after some very nice food and a few beer i can say that there must be more out there, i’m not bitter or anything but this was nothing more than a sausage party. but the more i look around the more i realize i only see one person in everyone here, or at least i want to see only that certain person. oh my god i wish i could get over it, just by the snap of a finger. but that might not be realistic anyway. well… shit.

tomorrow some hacking sessions will start and we even have a plan for the evening, let’s see how that turns out to be. now i’ll just listen to some music and let the evening fade out.

sweden calling

and this time i’ll leave my sorrows in germany, no wireless on my phone, just leave it off. leave everything behind, live life like it’s easy. gosh, now i’m looking forward to it :)

why would you

if we could, we would. if we wanted to, we could. stop living your fucking lives in subjunctives.

but… nevermind – i’ll just name her after you.

i realized something

it’s not about the things you do, it’s about the things you DON’T do. I am constantly, knowingly, pushing everyone i get to know aside just for the thought of being with you. all my friends tell me what kind of idiot i am, that i should fucking look around and see all these opportunities, but you know what? i don’t. i don’t want to. i want to live in this misery, i probably want to be unhappy. but in the end, there’s just you that i want. and i will keep on longing for it until you tell me to stop, until you let me know that in the end everyone was right and i’m an idiot for doing all these things. but i wouldn’t mind. because i did it for the right reasons.

now you should think about what you are not doing and if it’s really the right thing or whether you should change something. but as i said: until you tell me to stop.


shit. You are fucking stealing my lines, trying to be as dependent as possible? fuck you, fuck you so hard. you are the one unable to say thanks and then stealing my lines. fuck you. why aren’t you somebody yourself? fuck you hard. fuck you so fucking hard.

and YOU! fuck you as well, fuck you for taking everything seriously but me. fuck you for thinking i am always available. fuck you for not being consequent. fuck you for not taking time. fuck you for using me? fuck you for trying to make me feel bad about the things i do. fuck you for NOT DOING ANYTHING AGAINST IT!

hanging to the few times we’re actually doing shit? wow, such funny.

needed to do this. now i feel better.

one lesson I’ve learned

Tell you one lesson I’ve learned
If you want to reach something in life
You ain’t gonna get it unless
You give a little bit of sacrifice
Ooh sometimes before you smile you got to cry
You need a heart that’s filled with music
If you use it you can fly
If you want to be high


So let go of the sorrowful groaning
Let go of the ones you admire
It’s not like I was devious or boastful
My arms waving, I’m saying goodbye

about losing power

[melodramatic stuff incoming - do not read if you are easily offended by others' feelings - if you don't care about this and brag about it: fuck you, you've been warned, no one is forcing you to read it, period.]

the more i try the less you have to win. it’s just the way we have to cope. god this album… i will love it to death i guess. but this is about you. this is about the influence you are losing, slowly but steadily, this is about you signaling that i’m not of concern anymore? this is about you, about everything you DON’T do. this is about, getting away – you’re part of the thing that will be part of me; for the rest of my life. but there’s more than you hiding on my arm, there’s so much shit about me, about the choices i made, the choices we made, the choices everyone could have made. this is about getting away, this is about coping with what we are, with what i am, with the way we got where we are/were and will be in the future. this is simple math, this is about the ups and downs. in reverse, get your path together, i’ll get mine painted. and in the end? there’s just that thing beating inside my chest, you have the choice to cope with it or leave it forever – AGAIN.

fucking xaml exceptions a.k.a.

fucking xaml exceptions a.k.a. how to fix your XmlParseException!

in case you get an XmlParseException containing the message ‘Add value to collection of type ‘System.Windows.Controls.ItemCollection’ threw an exception.’ make sure your ItemsControl inner element is wrapped inside the ItemsControl.ItemsPanel and ItemPanelTemplate tags!


<ItemsControl ItemsSource="{YOUR_BINDING}">
            <UniformGrid Columns="1" />


<ItemsControl ItemsSource="{YOUR_BINDING}">
            <UniformGrid Columns="1" />